Do
- Do get an attorney
- Do know your rights
- Do have realistic expectations
- Do understand that in South Carolina there is a set guideline for child support developed by the Department of Social Services and adhered to by the court
- Do be honest about income, expenses, and assets
- Do work toward a reasonable settlement, continued adversarial positions deplete assets available to both parties and to your children (the attorney gets the money)
- Do think about the kids when negotiating custody and visitation - put yourself in their shoes and ask yourself what is the best arrangement for them
- Do develop a co-parenting agreement to ensure the children receive consistent parenting between households - this is best for them.
- Do put your anger aside long enough to settle your divorce.
- Do be proactive and save yourself some money by using a family mediator early in the divorce process when there are settlement problems
- Do use a counselor to help you with the emotional trauma and drama of divorce
- Do use a counselor or a coach to help you rediscover yourself and design your post divorce life
Don't
- Don't use your attorney as your emotional counselor
- Don't wait until the court appoints your family mediator and chooses one for you
- Don't jump right into another relationship
- Don't use your children as a spy on your spouse
- Don't parade your new woman or man in front of your children - give them time to heal
- Don't ever put your spouse down or talk negatively about your spouse to your children - this only damages the children
- Don't use your children as bargaining chips or go betweens
- Don't let anger get in the way of good judgment
- Don't withdraw and get depressed
- Don't take your anger, frustration, and hurt out on your family and friends
- Don't overindulge in the use of alcohol or drugs
- Don't make decisions based on emotions
- Don't cut off communication with your spouse - this results in family assets being transferred to the attorney in the way of fees
